8 Things Not to Say in Front of Your Children

8 Things Not to Say in Front of Your Children

Do you desire to see the church grow?

I am sure everyone reading this desires to see the church grow not only in number, but also in our fellowship with each other. However, we might be hindering the potential of future generations by our current speech in front of our children.

Through science, we know that our brains are forming until our early twenties and children are more influential due to their trusting nature. Children are miniature video cameras who “film” everything they see, hear and experience and it begins to form a bias for later life.

In considering the influence we have on children, I would ask you to examine your words that you speak in front of them.

Things Not to Say to Children about God, Church and the Bible

Do not curse God – I believe this one is self-explanatory.

Do not degrade the elders – Many congregations are struggling to find men who are qualified to be elders and I often wonder how many aspire to be elders after hearing what their parents say about the current eldership? Are your children hearing you treat the elders with respect?

Do not degrade the deacons – See explanation above and replace “elder” with deacon.

Do not degrade the preacher – OK, this one really gets me. I believe preachers are evaluated much more (many times more) than elders and deacons because preachers are usually at the forefront of the congregation at all times. Many times the preacher, and the message, are evaluated in the parking lot, the local restaurant at lunch or in the car driving home — what are the children hearing? Ever wonder why churches are suffering to find preachers? – and why there are few preachers?

Do to say the Bible Class is awful – Just because you did not get something out of the Bible class, does not mean someone else did not. Children hear the words you say, then they do not want to go to Bible class and then the church has a large Bible class problem…yes, just as we are seeing now.

Do not say the church is not as important as ___________________. (fill in the blank) – Let your children see that church is an important part of your life. Many times, young people become more liberal than their parents in terms of attendance. This problem will grow more as they see the church not being an important part of their lives.

Do not talk bad about church members – Your children see this and will imitate it as they grow. By the way, should we be gossiping, backstabbing or speaking unloving of a brother or sister anyway?

Do not complain about giving to the church – When children see how adults react to money, it puts a huge weight on their lives. Do your children see you scramble for the checkbook at the last second for the contribution while you always have money prepared for sports expenses?

Just my thoughts,


Possible Signs of Marriage Problems

Possible Signs of Marriage Problems

Got a few minutes? If so, take this quick quiz to see if your marriage might be in trouble.

While the age of busyness and technology is upon us, sometimes we forget to communicate in the simplest ways with your spouse. As people have come to me over the years for marriage coaching, I notice several couples who did not see the warning signs of a great marriage problem which began as a small issue. The small issues in a marriage might go unnoticed until a larger problem brings every issue to the forefront.

The list below is not a guide, but a starting point to determine the health of your marriage

(1) If you call your spouse by the wrong name – your marriage might be in trouble.

(2) If you talk to your Facebook friends more that you talk to your spouse – your marriage might be in trouble.

(3) If you send your wife a text message and you are sitting beside her on the couch – your marriage might be in trouble.

(4) If you have a date night with your spouse and you go out alone – your marriage might be in trouble.

(5) If your children mean more to you than your spouse – your marriage might be in trouble.

(6) If you put yourself before your spouse – your marriage might be in trouble.

(7) If you remember your wife’s Twitter name but cannot remember her first name – your marriage might be in trouble.

(8) If you refer to your spouse as “Ball and Chain” or “Doofus” – your marriage might be in trouble.

(9) If your husband cares more about his dog than you – your marriage might be in trouble.

(10) If your wife cares more about her dishwasher than you – your marriage might be in trouble.

(11) If the only communication you have is on the phone – your marriage might be in trouble.


If all the above signs describe your marriage, your marriage IS in trouble.

So, how did you do?

Just some thoughts,



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